Monday, January 26, 2015

We're Together

photo by Tarah Coonan

Last week, I read a fantastic post on Angloyankophile about surviving a long-distance relationship.  It threw me right back to our own transatlantic struggle, when we couldn't see a clear end to our separation and we felt like the first year of our marriage was slipping away without us.  (Remember this post from May?  Oof, dear readers.)  As I scrolled through the raw comments JT's readers had left, I felt an overwhelming sense of camaraderie with everyone who has endured and is enduring what we went through.  There's no "easy' when you're long distance - one situation isn't worse than another - but being kept apart from someone you love by law rather than by personal, professional, or academic choice adds a different dimension to your relationship that only others who have researched the acronyms of immigration can understand.

And the word we use, though it might sound hyperbolic, really is "survive."  I can't imagine what it must be like to wait at home while your partner is serving in a conflict zone, his or her life literally on the front line, but the constant and seemingly-unending stress of an internationally enforced long-distance relationship is traumatic enough.

I bring that up tonight because I've been drafting a post about how Jon and I are doing - you know, what it's like living together after more than two years apart - and it always comes back to this: we're together, and that's something neither of us will ever take for granted.  Our years of long distance are part of the DNA of our relationship; having been separated puts everything we deal with side by side in perspective.

Of course, marriage is hard.  I don't think anyone is under any illusions about how happiness is a choice, doubly so if you're sharing it with someone else.  But it's a choice that Jon and I make together every single day even in the smallest things we do because we remember when it wasn't an option available to us.  As JT wrote, "Our long-distance relationship, while in the past, continues to influence and shape our future."

No matter what's going on, we're together.  And that's amazing.

Friday, January 23, 2015

Frock Fridays: Girls' Night Out

I can't even remember the last time I had a proper girls' night out - my birthday, maybe?  Although that was more of a fabulous girls' night in and when, sometime after midnight, I made noises about wanting to hit the town, I was very sensibly talked into bed instead.

But we're going all out tomorrow night: dinner, drinks, board games, and almost certainly a Disney sing-a-long at my apartment (while Jon's at work) followed by dancing to a live band out at a bar in my neighborhood.

I think I'll wear my polka-dotted swingy-skirted dress from H&M, which is a little too short to sport during daylight hours, accessorized with black tights, my black Cole Haan heels, an old crossbody bag from Target, and sparkly Kate Spade studs like these.  Add a swipe of red lipstick, eyeliner, and mascara, and you've got a fabulous evening!

girls night out